[CPM-SPIRE-L] the ultimate Raconteur

Wed Jul 22 14:52:53 PDT 2015

My contribution.

rg

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THE RAINCOAT OF A LIFETIME.

In 1991, Costas organized the second of the meetings that would become  
CPM. It was in London, It was at the beginning of summer and there was  
a perfect English weather: rainy and kind of cold. I had finally  
gotten my PH.D. and I had a real salary. The trip to London and the  
new economic status gave me opportunity to caress to buy  a  Brit  
raincoat. The real "in" italians would buy Burberry, so I was sure of  
my choice.

I met Alberto at the meeting, which was indeed small. Livio Colussi  
was also there. I sat at the lunch table with them and shared with  
them that a dream was just going to come true: the Burberry raincoat.  
As usual, Alberto, very politely and sensibly, decided that matter  
needed a more careful investigation. It became evident that I wanted a  
real Brit raincoat, Burberry being a special case. So, Alberto  
suggested, with Livio fully endorsing each word, that WE should not  
make such an important choice without proper documentation. I  
thought…well, let's hope that greek philosophy does not come up.

A professor from the hosting university  was sitting in front of us,  
listening to the conversation. Alberto, with Livio completely  
agreeing, asked the gentleman whether he could offer advice for the  
successful achievement of OUR goal. Now I had a team of advisors. The  
gentleman replied very politely that he was not an expert of  
raincoats, but he would certainly get information to help. Sure  
enough, next day he told us that he had asked his wife. A real Brit  
would never buy  Burberry, which at the time had just been acquired by  
SEARS. The real thing was Acuascutum and the proper thing to do was to  
buy it at Harrods. So, Alberto, Livio and I went shopping: my raincoat  
first and then shoes and cashmere for Alberto. Livio kindly allowed  
our urgent clothing needs to take precedence  over his, that could  
wait until his return to Padova. When we reached the right section of  
Harrods, I started trying raincoats on, with Alberto and Livio giving  
me opinions on how the particular coat would wear: the shoulder is not  
right, a bit too long etc etc. Finally, the perfect one materialized.  
Really beautiful in each and every detail. Well, we were all very  
happy. The price even  fitted  into four digits only. I felt a little  
unsure, not really though. Alberto and Livio shared with me  
experiences of analogous spendings of theirs,  praising the many  
virtues of  what they had bought. I bought the coat. I still have it  
and wear it regularly, even if in Palermo we do to have much rain.  
Never regretted my choice, never had senses of guilt.
When I wear it, I think of a very pleasant day at Harrods, with two  
exceptional human beings. Just by looking at it, puts me in a good mood.

PS Do you know that, the bigger the geometric figures of different  
colors making up a chachemere sweater, the more expensive it is ? Some  
of them can even exceed 0070 dollars.
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TENNIS BALLS
I got my Bachelor Degree in Salerno, with Alberto. He was my  
undergraduate mentor. My BS thesis was entitled "Algoritmi Combinatori  
su Parole". After I graduated, he encouraged me to apply for admission  
in a PH.D. program in the US. I was admitted at Columbia University  
where my new mentor would be Zvi. Alberto had played  an important  
motivational part in my choice, so when I left my small village in  
Italy for the city that never sleeps, I thought that paying a visit to  
Alberto in West Lafayette was the thing to do. I expressed this desire  
to him and he communicated that Titti and he would be pleased to host  
me for a few days. Before leaving, as a sign of appreciation for the  
hospitality, I bought a present for both, which was carefully packed  
because it had to travel.
After a couple of days in Titti and Alberto house, I decided that I  
should give them the present. So, I did. I handed the present to  
Titti. In seeing the outside of the present, Alberto said, with  
delicate humor: "did you bring us Tennis Balls..how nice!!" Titti  
opened the containers, that indeed resembled tennis balls cans in  
their geometric look. A Swarovski cat and a dog came out. They thanked  
me and Titti pointed out to me that Alberto loved cats. The other  
night, Titti told me that the cat and dog are still in their apartment  
in the US.

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Mikhail Atallah <matallah at purdue.edu> ha scritto:

> On Jul 22, 2015, at 6:54 AM, Amihood Amir <amir at esc.biu.ac.il> wrote:
>
>> I propose, in Alberto's honor, that we collect the Apostolic Tales  
>> for posterity.
>> I will start and recount a few such tales. I encourage everyone to  
>> add stories they remember.
>
>
> Excellent idea.  Below are a few to add to the collection.
>
> The $1400 cashmere sweater
> ==========================
>
> Alberto had a few hours to kill before his flight from Heathrow, so  
> he decided
> to spend some time at Harrods.  While looking at a cashmere sweater,  
> a salesperson
> invited him to touch it and feel how soft it is.  Alberto obliged,  
> at which point
> she invited him to try it on.  He said he would, but warned her that  
> he was not buying,
> only looking until the time came for his flight.  She thanked him  
> for the full disclosure,
> and said “try it on anyway”.  So he did, and as he was looking in  
> the mirror she said
> “you look so good in this!”.  When someone half your age tells you  
> that you look great in
> a sweater, how can you disagree?  He did look good in it.  So he  
> said “yes, this looks
> and feels great, but it is too expensive” to which she replied “yes  
> it is very
> expensive, but you deserve it!”.  Alberto knew how hard he worked,  
> the salesperson was
> was right:  He did deserve it.  He bought the sweater, and  
> thereafter had a case
> of “buyer’s remorse” that lingered for years.
>
> Cashmere sweater, part 2
> ========================
>
> Alberto was heading for lunch wearing the cashmere sweater, when he  
> ran into a colleague
> in the corridor of the Haas building that housed the Purdue CS  
> Department at the time.
> After a brief chat, the colleague said “this is a very nice sweater,  
> I would like to buy
> a similar one of a different color: where did you buy it from?”.   
> Alberto said “I do not
> want to talk about this sweater, it is a sore topic for me because  
> it was sinfully
> expensive and I should never have bought it”.  The colleague was  
> offended because he
> perceived Alberto’s reply as implying that that Alberto thought that  
> the sweater was
> above the colleague’s budget and price range.  He said “if you can  
> afford it then I can
> afford it, just tell me where you bought it and how much you paid”.   
> Alberto again was
> evasive about providing the price he paid, so the colleague tried to  
> remove the
> reluctance by guessing a price that, he was sure, would be an  
> over-estimate:  “How much
> could it be?  Could it be, could it be ...” he said, as he tried to  
> remember the price
> of the most expensive sweater at the most expensive store in the  
> local Lafayette, Indiana
> mall, “Could it be $50 ?”
>
> The flight from Paris
> =====================
>
> As a teen-ager Alberto visited Paris on a shoestring budget, and  
> when the time came to
> leave he had spent all his money.   He arrived late at the airport:  
> The boarding gate
> was already closed, and the plane detached from the terminal.  It  
> was against policy
> un-do these operations.  Alberto explained to the airline agents  
> that he was completely
> out of money, that unless he could get on that plane, his life would  
> be forever ruined:
> He would either starve to death, freeze to death, or resort to  
> desperate measures that
> would make him a fugitive from the law.  He was so persuasive that  
> the airline agents
> talked to their superiors, who authorized re-attaching the plane and  
> re-opening the gate
> for Alberto to board.
>
>
>
>
>
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